Mental health failure by the VA. Part 2. A letter to my Congressman. September 2017.

This is one of many e-mails I have sent to my Congressman’s aid.

First I will list the VA’s response to the congressional investigation. I will follow with my response email to being told a month later that “oh I am sorry I thought I emailed you back my email was wiped out by a computer virus.” Which anyone who understands government networks knows that is bullshit. So a month after months of waiting and being told that it is the VA’s response was ready I finally got the message. The biggest problem with it is that the VA conducted an investigation without ever calling me and has never once called me about the incident outlined in part one of the story. My next one I am going to provide more context and actually address the stories more this is just the way my brain works.

My response

I wanted to say before this message that I am expressing my feelings about the matter and did not mention anything about you trying to get me face time with the Congressman, I do want to acknowledge that and thank you for that. With that said, all my feelings stated here are true.

I keep turning over rocks, trying to find justice and truth. Two of the things that I thought I fought to protect. Now, I have to fight to be protected, to search for the truth that no one cares about. I have to fight for truth, and I get none.

Tell me what I have to do to be worthy of assistance.

You had a member of the VA lie directly to you, a member of Congressional staff. It seems to me like that was the end of it. I still have not had a single person respond to my pleas for help. I have contacted department after department and received nothing but empty broken promises. Never once was I spoke to about the incident that I opened a Congressional investigation into. Yet, the VA blames me.

How is this reality?

This is Straight Jacket Material to ground control, things are getting weird out here.

People want to call me a hero, but no one is willing to help.

People want to thank me for my service, but they have no idea the hell I go through.

People want to say “I support the troops,” but I still fully bear this weight alone with my wife.

People want to say “If you stomp on the flag I will stomp your ass,” but a false report of 22 veterans a day kill themselves, story after story of the VA murdering veterans.

Stories of veterans blowing their brains out in front of the VA. I told you that I was almost one of those veterans. I am a local combat veteran, born and raised in the Antelope Valley.

And I can’t even be asked a single question.

I have a question, why is it that the states of California and Texas or any state for that matter does not report veterans suicide and death rates? We are told 22 veterans a day kill themselves, but taking into account that those two states and their veteran population are not counted for it is easy to fear that the numbers far higher.

I could not possibly feel more abandoned by the country I swore to protect. I gave every ounce of my mental capacity and bore the horrors that are the images of war. Those images of haunted me 10 years later and they will likely haunt me for the rest of my life.

I fully understand that if someone has not been exposed to combat or family member in combat that they could not possibly understand. However, I cannot understand why there is not any emphasis being placed upon my ordeal.

I live with the demon of war inside my soul, they impact every aspect of my life. The dozens of physical ailments pale with the impact with my brain. The culture of war and soldiers in war is unimaginable.

“You motherfuckers better mark no for every medical form. Don’t waste [the medics] time out there. We all know it sucked, big fucking deal. The faster we get out of processing the faster we can get drunk.”

That was a statement made by one of my NCO’s on our redeployment from OIF 06-08 and our 15-month deployment to Mosul Iraq.

Yet the VA has the audacity to tell me that if something is not my medical record, it did not happen. I have had doctors tell me that I am simply searching for diseases. That I am a hypochondriac. That I am just trying to scam the government. I have over 20 medical conditions and symptoms, yet I cannot be believed?

The VA has demonstrated through the interactions of the Lancaster outpatient clinic that there is absolutely no concern for the mental health of veterans that they care for. There is not been a shred of concern displayed by the VA.

I sure wish this was an outrage to somebody besides myself the veterans and the family members that are affected.

It is said that justice is blind. I really feel invisible right now.


Photograph information.

This is an old tug that was used by Saddam’s forces during the first Gulf War. Once abandoned, it was left. This was at Kuwait Naval Base in 2008. The ship has since been used as target practice and salvage engineering to be targeted again. A fitting end.