Bipolar… Fog? A snip of about 10 minutes of my inner brain conversation

My central newspaper sends all of the little packets throughout my body. A straight line is set to my brain.

That system is not working today. Oh shucks, that is the government for you. Even in the brain, it cannot get it right. So my… brain person walks to the newspaper building neuron, I am pretty sure that is the right word.

I should look at what the definition is.

*I jump over a rabbit hole of obsession because I forget to look it up. Although, now it is stuck in my head.*

My brain person, hereby referred to as bp, not to be confused with the drilling company, which I do have to thank because, through their offshore exploration of the seafloor, we have learned a great deal about the Earth.

The same goes for resource and mineral extraction. We observe a wide range of effects, exaggerated mass wasting, also known as landslides. The intrusion of populations into forested areas increases the problem because now more of the forest has to be managed. And like any good army, we have the warfare assets … fuck

I got off-topic.

What was the topic?

A screen blinked

Bp blinked, in whatever bp sort of way

*The image of his face being smashed, particularly around the eye. Goddamn, the eye is a nightmare. Always pokes and cuts.

Okay, so there is a packet of information.

“Welcome, my brain is some sticky sort of nightmare that just keeps going and going. Between trying to drown out my brain…

you should kill yourself

… *sighs in a brain way*

you should kill yourself

Stop it for fuck sakes, I hate this shit in my head.

“Okay, so… I wonder how much air a comet would displace as it goes through the sky. Is it going to tumble the further into the atmosphere? Perhaps that contributes to the breakup. The rapid change of angles exposing the superheated fragmenting rock.

you can’t get away. remember the clicking noise? no, no matter how much you obsess about it, you will hear and see it. over, and slice. 

So I tend to relive things over and over

IED, IED, but your still a pussy, remember how your mother called you a pussy? 

I wonder if there are any meteor

click. Face and pipe, face and pipe.

yes, twitch in nausea. think about it a little more. remember the sound. 

“It is so difficult to figure out where it comes from. Sometimes I can go for a few hours if I engross myself in something.”

Fuck this audiobook, this reader is garbage. Yes, I will not waste my time listing to garbage.

“We have been listening to an audiobook for 4 minutes. I have scrolled through my phone, in between writing stuff down on my whiteboard.”

imagine being ambushed by sabertooth cats. how would it feel to be eaten?

*more twitching in the stomach*

“That is the source of all the worst feelings. I wonder if they are collected?”‘probably not’

I wonder

Is bp a real thing, a figment of my imagination? Since I am an internally contained brain system.

you will never know where you are. but you will never stop obsessing.

face smash

“I wish this would go away”

What was I doing?

Maybe it was over here. No, nothing.

Am I looking for screws?

poke poke poke. what does the inside of your heart feel like

interactions in both the heart and the stomach

notice your heartbeat more

feel it, feel it

“Why can’t this shit stop.”

*I try to remember what it was like when I was not thinking about it. Always fleeting. I simply cannot outrun the dark, or run into the light. I suppose it is perspective. Of course, I vary in how bad it is if it is good or bad*

Jesus that is some shitty grammar.

I wonder where this word came from.

I wonder why I never fell out of the helicopter

I wish I remember the entire context of that hilarious line. he knew when it

what if the window would have been blown out during the explosion?

Helicopter… Helicopter…

“It does not fly, it simply beats the air into submission.”

53 feet… Or 56? I forget…

I reach for anything

missiles … always… where would we crash?

always take the feed tray cover off

“What was the name of that fob?”

We would have to tell them what the hell a fob it.

take the pilot’s weapon if they are dead.

why were they so lazy they could not even be bothered to clean their weapons

sssssssllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiicccccccccccccceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee yes what is it like to do it slowly?